A comment on last week's post that I did on Kindness gave me food for thought. I decided to explore the subject a bit more, as it is my One Word this year of 2024.
Barbara mentioned that as a Christian kindness should be a hallmark of our interactions. While I totally agree with her it also caused me to wonder about something.
Is interacting with others with kindness merely something that we do or is it who we are as human beings?
Could it be that kindness is simply being nice?
While I know my friend Barbara well enough to know she was saying that as Christians kindness should be who we are, I wanted to compare the meaning of the words kindness and nice. You know, just for the fun of it because I'm curious like that.
Webster's Dictionary defines kindness as, "the quality or state of being kind". It also listed some synonyms for it as, "service, courtesy, indulgence", but it continued on with some other surprising synonyms such as, "grace, privilege, blessing, mercy, benevolence". I enjoyed that because it definitely backs up the idea that as Christians these last five synonyms speak of God's lovingkindness to us that we might pass them on to others. It really is the core of Barbara's statement that kindness should be the hallmark of our interactions with others!
In my way of viewing the two definitions, especially when looking at their synonyms, kindness (or kind) is the root of who we are as Christians, while being nice is what we do as a result of who we are.
It's the whole being versus doing scenario in a very good way. They compliment each other ~ we do because of who we are.
What are YOUR thoughts? Please leave them in the comments! I'd love to hear!
Interesting thoughts! Kindness is listed as a fruit of the Spirit in Galatians 5 (depending on the translation), so we could say God grows that fruit in us, and then it comes out in what we do. Yet we have to yield to it and to Him--there are times I don't feel like reacting kindly, but because I am His, and He convicts and leads me, then I express kindness (unless I don't--then I have to repent).
ReplyDeleteI think of niceness as an extension of kindness in everyday courtesy.
I was thinking, too, of those times we have to have difficult conversations with people. Jesus had some pretty harsh-sounding words for some. But it was kindness, both to them and the hearers, to point out their error and their need for correction. Yet it might not have seemed nice as we think of it.
Sometimes I see memes with sayings like, "It's better to be nice than right." And I think, it doesn't have to be either/or. We can be right in a kind way. Now, if we're talking about the best way to squeeze the toothpaste tube or fold towels, then, yes, it's better to be nice than argue over who is right. But on the essentials, we're not being kind or nice to promote falsehood.
You bring out some really good points, Barbara. Thank you for sharing your insight...especially concerning the times that we don't exactly feel like reacting kindly to someone.
DeleteAlso, I understand exactly what you are saying in regard to the times when we have to have those difficult conversations with someone. I guess in those instances, a lot depends on our attitudes in those conversations.
I agree...it doesn't have to be either nice or right. Again...I believe so much of that depends on our heart attitudes and motives.
Thanks again for stopping by and for sharing your thoughts. They always encourage me.
This project of "kindness" that you have embarked on has made me think. Is kindness something that is inherent in us or do we learn it? It makes me think of how God commends us to love on another. That is how we know we are Christians. In John 13:35, Jesus says "By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love one for another." Are we commanded to love others who aren't Christians as well? Love is one of the fruits of the Spirit. Kindness is as well. Now I have something to think about!
ReplyDeleteAs a part of the fruit of the Spirit, Melanie, if we are Believers then we have it but sometimes we just need to be reminded of it. Yes, Jesus tells us to love those who hate us and persecute us and to pray for them. If we are unkind to those who do not know Christ, how will they come to know that there's something different about us? I'm really glad that these posts on kindness...my One Word for 2024...have given you something to think about. I know that I have learned so much about kindness this year so far and I still have three more months to go!
DeleteYou covered it all. Great post.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for your kind words, Karen.
DeleteSo much to digest in this post. I had to reread some parts over and try to think about the difference between kind and nice. My thought is that nice is a way of being while kind is more than that. It seems to ask us to act. Thanks, Dianna 💗
ReplyDeleteWhat a blessing your comment is to me, my friend. Thank you so much for your response. 🍁🍂
DeleteOne thought that came to mind about kindness was that it is sometimes paired with forbearance. Lots of good thoughts here.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your kind words, Ellen. And you do bring out a good point about pairing kindness with forbearance.
DeleteThe distinction between being kind and being nice seems to be coming more and more to the forefront the past few years, so I appreciate you addressing it here, Dianna! Raised as a Christian southern woman, we were taught that good girls were always nice, even if that meant being fake or inauthentic. I'm learning more as an adult that kindness is the more valuable trait. We can also be nice while being kind, but kindness may be the deeper virtue.
ReplyDeleteI love that you had my word Curious in your post as well! Double win. :)
I know what you mean about the difference between kindness and nice becoming more and more to the forefront the past few years. I agree...kindness is the more valuable trait.
DeleteI thought of you every time I typed the word! :)